Marriage Counselling – Dealing with Communication Issues
It is often said that communication is the key to all successful relationships. This is probably very true and no where is this idea highlighted more significantly than in our marriage and couple relationships.
In our younger years we typically believe that the way we see and think about the world is the same as everyone else. As we grow older and more experienced, we generally start to understand that there are many different views of the world. We can usually be okay with these differences, until the issues get really close to home and take on a different kind of importance. All of a sudden, we can find ourselves in heated, conflict-filled interactions with those we love, and confused about how this happened and what to do about it.
At Jericho Counselling, we work with couples and individuals to learn new ways to understand and talk about the issues that seem to divide our relationships. We teach basic communication skills and really help people to find better ways to talk about the issues that are important to them. We also help people understand a little bit about how the brain functions when we are engaged in conversations that really matter to us and why it sometimes feels as though it is simply impossible to formulate a logical coherent thought or sentence when we are talking to our partners.
Communication can often mean different things, depending on your gender. Men may be more ‘activated and agitated’ when the conversation is interpreted as being critical of them and their behaviour. Understanding that this may happen, we can be better prepared to deal with it in a productive way. Learning a few basic skills can mean the difference between being able to positively navigate a conversation that feels a bit critical or one that is hurtful and destructive.
Alternatively, women can often feel more ‘activated and defensive’ when there is a threat of abandonment by loved ones. Sometimes our partners will sense that the conversation is not going well and in an effort to re-direct the outcome, will suggest taking a break in the conversation. Many women will get a sense of being abandoned when they most need support and this can trigger a response in the brain that NEEDS to fight to maintain contact, at all costs. Again, understanding that this behaviour is a possible response to certain types of conversations, we can build skills and strategies that will mitigate the situation.
These are just some examples of the typical challenges that couples face when communication troubles strike. Counselling can be very helpful in resolving these struggles and learning a few skills will make a big difference in how you feel about your partner.
Please click the following links to take you to more information about the issues that may be resolved through counselling.